Like many women, I have been going to the same hairdresser for many years. I am persuaded that Federico is the only person in the world who understands my hair and knows how to cut it. Thirty years ago, he saw me through that traumatic moment when I took the decision to admit defeat and surrender to the onerous slavery of periodically dying my hair to hide the grey.
As we all know, this means going to the hair salon every month and going through a two-and-a-half-hour ceremony, which may take even longer when they are running behind schedule. This long and complicated ritual disguises the fact that the pigment cells in one’s hair follicles have quite unreasonably decided to go on strike. When there are fewer pigment cells in a hair follicle, the strand of hair no longer contains as much melanin, and it turns grey. This is a rite of passage, which affects everyone sooner or later, and one has to decide whether to remain in denial or to (un)gracefully surrender.
Over the years, my hairdresser and I have come to know each other quite well. I have listened to his lamentations regarding his relationship difficulties. He (metaphorically) cried on my shoulder when he and his partner went through a final traumatic break-up. As he was cutting my hair, he described the bitter arguments over the shared custody of their dog. Over the last ten years, this problem has persisted. The dog is quite old now (in dog years), and by now I am certain that he will burial us all.
When Federico made the decision to move closer to work, I had a graduate student who was leaving his apartment in the city center because he planned to move in with his girlfriend. I put them in touch and the transition was seamless.
Living in the city has greatly improved Federico’s social life. According to him, the Grinder application on his mobile phone is literally smoking. He has even dated a few of my ex-students, but so far has not found a significant other, unless one-night stands can be regarded as significant.
Ever since Federico was young, he has enjoyed cutting and styling hair. That was his first vocation. Nevertheless, if it had been possible, he would have also liked to be a neurosurgeon or an astronaut. (All of us have dreams.) Now, thanks to the coronavirus pandemic, he will finally have the possibility of fulfilling all three of his vocations (at least to a certain degree).
In Spain, the government allowed beauty salons to open on Monday. Unfortunately, the official regulations regarding safety precautions were not published until the day before (Sunday). This created so much pandemonium that many larger beauty salons were not prepared and thus did not open, much to the sorrow of legions of clients with shaggy tri-colored coronavirus hair.
Many clients, suffering from panic attacks, called to ask for an appointment, and were put on a waiting list, which means not being able get a haircut until the middle of June.
These larger beauty salons are taking this week to prepare for the big opening day on 11 May. This means a complete change in the décor, which can only be described as a total makeover.
The new post-Covid-19 beauty salon will have all of the chic of a Star Trek spaceship. There will be plexiglass partitions between chairs. Each client must have previously made an appointment and should arrive with his/her own mask and gloves. All personal articles must be left in a container at the doorway.
Before hairwashing begins, clients must undergo a disinfection process. While they are waiting for the hair dye to take effect, they must practice mental yoga or mindfulness because gossip magazines, which are now sources of contagion, are a relic of the past.
One positive effect is that clients will receive a great deal more personalized attention since they will be in a kind of sanitary bubble with the hairdresser, who will be at their exclusive service.
The bad news is that prices will rise considerably because there will be fewer appointments per day. Between appointments, there must also be a period of time when everything from the chair to the brushes, comb, and scissors will be disinfected.
As for hairdressers, their job has undergone a total metamorphosis, which brings me back to Federico and his three vocations. Hairdressers must dramatically change their attire since they can no longer dress as before. They must choose between two ‘looks’: (1) the neurosurgeon look; (2) the astronaut look. Needless to say, Federico is quite taken with both options.
In the neurosurgeon ‘look’, hairdressers wear surgical gloves, mask and goggles/face shield. So much equipment seems to have a positive effect on both client sand hairdressers. It causes them to cut hair with the same care and precision as a doctor who is extirpating a brain tumor. Although this causes clients to feel reassured, it also makes them vaguely worried.
When they see their hairdresser in the guise of a world-class surgeon about to begin a life-or-death operation, clients are projected into a medical scenario, which makes them unconsciously assume that their hair/scalp has a disease that must be healed.
However, the positive side is that the neurosurgeon ‘look’ reassures clients because everyone trusts doctors. They thus feel that their hair is in the hands of a highly trained professional, who will bring the high-risk operation to a successful end.
The astronaut ‘look’ is somewhat different because one wears a white suit and helmet accompanied by the usual surgical gloves, mask, and goggles (see image). This is a ‘light’ version of what Neil Armstrong wore to explore the lunar surface. Hairdressers who adopt the astronaut ‘look’ may choose to do so for various reasons.
They may prefer to resemble astronauts because this ‘look’ affords better protection for hazards at the workplace. If their body is totally covered, there is more of a chance of the virus staying outside and not penetrating the layers of clothing. This look is the way to go for clean freaks with obsessive-compulsive personality disorders.
The other reason for adopting the astronaut ‘look’ is that it projects clients into a world of adventure, which affords them the possibility of exploring new galaxies. This is most suitable for those hairdressers who wish to encourage their clients to experiment with new styles and dye their hair blue or purple.
This new type of beauty salon is very positive for Federico because it has allowed him to explore new dimensions of his personality and to fulfil his two secret vocations. As for me, since I prefer to avoid medical scenarios and have no wish to travel to Mars, I will probably tell my hair follicles that their strike is no longer a problem.
