60 Slaying Dragons in Times of Coronavirus

Storytellers were once important figures in a community. They acted as the guardians of our cultural history. The folktales and myths of our ancestors are the building blocks for every story that has been told since, and in many ways, for our identities and our understanding of the world and one another. Among other things, storytellers were the intermediaries that taught people how to put incomprehensible events in the right perspective.

For example, rhapsodes were the professional storytellers of Ancient Greece, who recited poetry - especially epic poetry - to an elite audience ranging in numbers from a few dozens to a few hundreds.

Griots, or Jelis, were (and still are) the traditional keepers of a society’s history in West African cultures. Hanashikas in Japan told tales of daily life and reinforced historical and moral lessons.

In Ireland, the seanchai were the traditional Irish keepers of stories. They would travel from village to village, reciting ancient lore and tales of wisdom.  They told the old myths as well as local news and happenings.

The ability to tell stories effectively and memorably was a valuable skill in past centuries because people needed a way to remember the courageous deeds, conflicts, and events that defined their culture. Stories were kept alive by being told again and again. During this process, the material of any given story naturally underwent several changes and adaptations.

In modern times, our storytellers no longer perform before crowds of people in the marketplace, around a fire, or in a castle hall. They now appear on the television or computer screen. Unfortunately, these new storytellers have come down a peg from those in ancient times and are no longer known for their eloquence, imagination, or intellect.

Our world leaders and newscasters cannot hold a candle to Aesop, Homer, Shakespeare, or even Walt Disney, but still we allow them to define our narratives. They tell us about events in the world. Our first impulse is to believe them, especially when they tell us what we wish to hear. Nevertheless, depending on who is telling the story and from which perspective, the same event can vary considerably.

In Times of Coronavirus, the Covid-19 narrative has been presented in a wide variety of contexts. However, the general storyboard is always the same. At the beginning of the pandemic, the virus was an invading enemy that caught us unawares. 

When it began decimating the countryside, those who were warriors took up arms and began to wage war against it in hospitals and grocery stores. Others of us swore a solemn oath of solitude until the pestilence was purged from the land. Later on, the invading forces became a tsunami that swept away everything (and everyone) in its path. Against tremendous odds, we continued to persevere, hoping that the tide would turn.

For the last few months, this has been the basic narrative that our leaders have constructed for us, and we have mostly accepted it. However, since nations are now lifting restrictions in an effort to salvage shattered economies, the coronavirus folktale must be further expanded and more richly embroidered.  In order to justify reopening, the story requires a happy ending. Little does it matter that the story has still not ended. 

This is particularly the case for nations such as Russia, Mexico, and the United Kingdom. In these countries, lockdown restrictions are being prematurely lifted despite the fact that there has been little or no decrease in infections and deaths.

The new expanded coronavirus folktale explains how the valiant heroes (i.e. the national population led by their great leader) after much suffering and a long battle, were finally able to vanquish and slay the Covid-10 dragon. 

This great victory was only possible because the people followed the wise advice of their great leader and willingly made immense sacrifices. Their oath of solitude is now no longer necessary because the dragon has disappeared forever.  Life in the country will be able to return to normal.

President Vladimir Putin, the dragon slayer of Russia, has stated that according to a panel of (unnamed) experts, the peak can be considered past. Now that the worst is over, he is back at the helm and says that everything can return to normal. 

His first measure was to reschedule the World War II victory parade for 24 June. Opportunities to display strength and channel national pride are critically important to him, particularly now that doubts are creeping in about how the coronavirus pandemic was and is being handled in his country.

When the pandemic hit Russia, the president did not dust off his sword and shield, and ride out to do battle with the evil virus. Instead, he uncharacteristically retired to his dacha in order to distance himself from the mess. Worried that the coronavirus would affect his approval ratings, he temporarily surrendered power to regional governors, who were not accustomed to acting on their own, and allowed them to impose unpopular confinement measures. His calculation, however, did not work out because the mayor of Moscow became the media star, whereas President Putin’s popularity fell 20 points. Now he must recover lost ground even though the numbers of infected remain very high, and the dragon is still very much alive.

In Mexico, President López Obrador is much too old and jovial to assume the role of a dragon slayer. However, he has done the next best thing to killing the dragon. In a recent declaration, he says that he has ‘tamed’ the virus and that the measures taken against Covid-19 have been very effective.

Economic activity can thus begin again and the country can be reopened.  Sadly, the Mexican people (with the exception of the president’s most fervent supporters) do not share his assessment of the situation and rightly believe that even a tame dragon is not the best choice of household pet.

Mexican friends have told me that they plan to remain in confinement because it would be insane to return to work. Surprisingly, there is a reduced sector of the population that believes the story told by their president, and is convinced that Mexico has done quite well. They have not looked at the statistics.

In the United Kingdom, Boris Johnson fought with the coronavirus dragon in hand-to-hand combat and almost died. Fortunately, he survived…. but so did the dragon. According to his own account of the battle, the fierce dragon was slain, but as anyone can see, the numbers of cases and deaths in the UK have not improved. The best that can be said is that they remain at the same depressingly high level. 

Nonetheless, on 1 June, schools and businesses will be able to open again. Many of his scientific and medical advisors have warned him against this unwise course of action, but he refuses to listen to their story because it conflicts with his own.

However, the dragon is still with us.

59 The Ostrich Alliance Revisited

A previous post in www.timesofcoronavirus.com was about the Ostrich Alliance. Members of this select club include the presidents of Brazil, Belarus, Nicaragua, and Turkmenistan, none of whom acknowledges Covid-19 as a threat. Today, over a month later, let us revisit these countries to find out how they are doing, and to see whether their strategies finally worked.

BRAZIL: PRESIDENT JAIR BOLSONARO

President Bolsonaro of Brazil is still the most famous of the coronavirus ostriches, thanks to his assertions that Covid-19 is like a “little flu”. Indeed, his appearance at mass gatherings has transformed him into a media star. In imitation of other world leaders, he has consistently left unpopular decisions to his state governors and refused to wear a mask. He has also promoted unproven coronavirus ‘cures’, while encouraging the population to protest lockdown measures.

When two consecutive Health Ministers did not agree with his methods of dealing with the coronavirus, he fired them. The current Health Minister in Brazil is a military general whose utter lack of health background is compensated by the fact that he is very good at following orders.

Thanks to President Bolsonaro’s initiatives, Brazil’s official coronavirus statistics can now be used in math classes throughout the world to exemplify exponential increase.  On 22 April, the government of Brazil reported 44,000 cases of coronavirus and 2761 deaths. Today on 30 May, there are 468,338 cases and 27,944 deaths.

The death rate, which used to be 400 per day, is now over 1000 per day. Since the virus has not as yet reached its peak, it is estimated that by August, the death toll of the ‘little flu’ will have quintupled. It is only necessary to do the math and reach the logical conclusions.

Government authorities, however, remain in the ostrich mode and claim that the aerial photographs of mass graves in Manaus and Sao Paolo are fake news and are being filled with empty coffins to alarm the population. (This claim has since been disproven.)

BELARUS: PRESIDENT ALEXANDER LUKASHENKO

In Belarus, President Lukashenko still affirms that the coronavirus is a false alarm. He dismisses lockdowns and face masks as frenzy and psychosis. He has allowed soccer matches and church services to proceed. Despite a rise in Covid-19 infections, he even held a full military parade of 3000 soldiers on 9 May to commemorate the defeat of the Germans in World War II. Belarus has not imposed lockdown measures or social distancing rules. Shops, schools, and public transport continue to function normally.

The advice of President Lukashenko is to go to the sauna, drink vodka, and eat meals on time. Driving tractors also helps. In addition, he has claimed that doctors in his country have already found a combination of drugs to cure the virus. If this is indeed the case, then Belarus statistics must have improved dramatically.

Unfortunately, even based on the (under-reported) data for Belarus, the 6,723 cases of coronavirus in April have increased to 40,764 in May. Similarly, the 55 deaths in April have now risen to 224 (though there are doubtlessly many more).

Recently, hundreds of people in Minsk protested against the policies of their president. Many protesters carried slippers as a symbol of protest leader Sergei Tikhanovsky’s call to “smash the cockroach”. Others wore face masks defying the president's dismissal of coronavirus concerns as a psychosis. So, President Lukashenko is evidently another failed ostrich.

NICARAGUA: PRESIDENT DANIEL ORTEGA

When the pandemic began, President Daniel Ortega decided that the best way to address the situation was to disappear. During his spiritual retirement, public concerts, marathons, and soccer games were allowed without any restrictions. Quarantine was considered unnecessary because it would alarm the population. Like the regimes in Brazil and Belarus, Nicaragua’s government downplayed the virus and attempted to sit out the pandemic. The strategy was to do nothing, and pretend that everything was normal.

Now over a month later, the Nicaraguan government has finally admitted that the number of new COVID-19 infections is rising. There was little choice because of photos of the overflowing morgue in the only hospital officially designated to treat coronavirus patients. On 22 April, the government admitted to 10 Covid cases and 2 deaths. On 30 May, the official report is 759 cases and 35 deaths though everyone knows that the government is lying.

A letter signed by more than 700 Nicaraguan healthcare professionals confirms that deaths from Covid-19 are being attributed to hypertension, diabetes, or respiratory illnesses – and the victims are rushed away for burial in the dead of night. These ‘express burials’, many of which have been filmed, involve sealed caskets and bodies wrapped in plastic. The families are warned to remain silent, and the dead are not included in the official Covid-19 death toll.

However, according to President Ortega, there is no need for alarm because everything is under control.

TURKMENISTAN: PRESIDENT GURBANGULY BERDIMUHAMEDOV

President Berdimuhamedov is the only ostrich that can be heartily congratulated because his country is one of the very few in the world that has no documented cases of coronavirus. There were no cases in April, and there are still none in May, despite the fact that thousands of cases have been detected in Uzbekistan, Kazakhstan, Iran, and Afghanistan, the four nations bordering Turkmenistan.

Among other things, President Berdimuhamedov attributes the absence of coronavirus cases in the country to burning the herb yuzarlik, which supposedly prevents infectious diseases “invisible to the naked eye”.

Given the absence of coronavirus in Turkmenistan, the WHO has asked to visit the country so that they can document the country’s virological victory, and finally learn how to do things right. Lamentably, permission for this visit has not been granted. President Berdimuhamedov prefers to keep his methods a secret and has no wish share his triumph over the coronavirus with the world.

Stay tuned next month for another Ostrich Alliance update.

58 'Glam Jobs' in Times of Coronavirus

When my children were growing up, I learned that it was a mistake to weigh in on their choice of future occupation. Generally speaking, it is useless to try to influence one’s offspring during adolescence because this invariably causes them to do exactly the opposite. So, it is better just to listen and not to interfere. In the end, they will eventually have to figure things out for themselves anyway.

Moreover, without a crystal ball or the gift of clairvoyance, it is difficult to advise anyone about what to do with his/her life. The employment needs of the future are unpredictable. Times change and the labor market evolves. As reflected throughout History, job profiles are context-dependent. What is essential work in one century may be regarded as totally irrelevant in the next.

For example, in the 15^th century, there was a great demand for herb strewers, who would spread basil, lavender, chamomile, and roses throughout noble residences to mask the stench of unwashed bodies. A green thumb combined with a small parcel of land gave one the possibility of visiting castles and hobnobbing with the nobility.

During the reign of Henry VIII (and until 1901), the Groom of the Stool monitored and assisted the King’s bowel movements. For various centuries, this was a very well paid position and highly coveted since the Groom had direct access to the King and his conversation during one of his most private moments.

Up until the 19^th century, one could further medical research and get rich at the same time by being a resurrectionist (body snatcher). These enterprising individuals provided medical schools with cadavers to dissect. Resurrectionism was a very lucrative profession since a corpse in reasonably good condition could be sold for £9-£11.

During the Industrial Revolution (and even until 1970), another up-and-coming profession was that of knocker-up (not what you are thinking). This person worked as sort of human alarm clock and was hired to wake clients up each morning by knocking on their doors and windows with long pole.

Those with a penchant for literature could work as a lector in a factory. This 19^th-century job involved reading newspapers and serialized novels to factory workers so they would not get bored on the assembly line.

In the 20^th century, high-tech professions included professional listeners to detect the sound of enemy aircraft, switchboard operators for telephone calls, and human computers, who performed complex calculations. When radar and the Digital Era, eliminated their jobs, these employees either had to retire or learn new skills.

Now, in Times of Coronavirus we are experiencing another game-changing moment in the labor market. The pandemic has caused many jobs to disappear. Autoworkers, hotel staff, travel agents, and airline employees (inter alia) are out of work. Whether this loss is temporary or permanent is still to be determined. Those who eventually return to their jobs will have to adapt to the brave new world. Those who cannot will have to recycle and find another occupation.

Although we mostly hear about the jobs that have disappeared in the pandemic, incredible as it may seem, Covid-19 has also generated a number of new profiles, which may be the jobs of the future. Most of these roles have been created to keep employees and customers safe from contagion.

Evidently, there is now a market for Covid-19 testers who conduct swab tests at hospitals, nursing homes, factories, and offices. Amazon, for example, even has plans to hire its own lab technicians for this purpose. Since these tests will soon be a part of our life, a lot of people are needed to administer them.

Another rising profession is that of thermal screener. In the new pandemic era, airports, stadiums, restaurants, companies, and schools will be hiring people whose job is to check the temperatures of those wishing to enter. All one has to do is learn how to point a temperature detector at foreheads and act accordingly.

In Covid-19 times, keeping people at the right distance from each other is imperative. Since the police cannot control everyone, cities are currently hiring social-distancing monitors, whose job is to remind people that they should not get too close to each other in public areas, such as town squares, boardwalks, and beaches.

Social distance can also be imposed by barriers. Thanks to the virus, Plexiglass has now become the new gold. For jobseekers who are more into engineering and construction, there is currently a huge market for plastic screen manufacturers and installers. Offices, restaurants, and schools need to install Plexiglas shields and dividers if they want to safely accept students, workers and customers.

Those who have always admired Sherlock Holmes and wish to engage in detective work (but without risk) can become contact tracers. This job involves calling people who might have contracted the virus to provide tips and try to arrange testing. This work requires perseverance, patience, and an empathy level superior to that of many of our current world leaders.

The computer screen is also now where the action is. Conferences, medical consultations, and social gatherings are being held online. A socially-oriented person with people skills and a bit of computer expertise can thus become a Zoom manager who organizes and facilitates online meetings and events. This would be an excellent recycling area for out-of-work wedding planners.

Masks have also become a source of jobs. The fashion world currently predicts that people could be wearing masks for years (at least those who view masks as an act of politeness and consideration). Companies will probably ask employees to wear logo-branded masks. Fashion designers will also create masks to go with everything from casual dresses to wedding gowns. Face mask designers and sewers are urgently needed.

For those whose vocation is to be a superhero, there is a great demand for decontamination technicians, who can enter large areas and zap villainous bacteria and germs everywhere. The object of disinfection can be entire buildings and surfaces, or individual objects such as clothing, musical instruments, and hairbrushes. Such objects may also include N95 masks in places where hospital workers are forced to reuse protective equipment.

Needless to say, so much cleaning and disinfecting also means that great quantities of hazardous waste must be disposed of. Consequently, waste managers are also in great demand.

At first glance, some of these occupations might not sound particularly alluring, but it is only a question of time. One only has to recall the example of the Groom of the Stool in the times of Henry VIII. Over the centuries, wiping the royal backside and washing out his personal commode became a job that nobles would kill for. The prestige attached to this job lasted for various centuries.

57 The Hall of Mirrors

In Spain, confinement began on 15 March, 2020. At first, everyone was very upbeat about staying at home and forwarded humorous memes to their friends. (I used to receive 35 a day.) It was a way of saying that we were cool with what was happening and that we could cope with the disaster. Quarantine was going to be like a strange sort of vacation.

People made videos of themselves as they kneaded homemade bread or as they meticulously fashioned origami figures. Many participated in strenuous workout sessions in front of the television screen. If they were not worried about staying in shape, they engaged in Zen meditation on their terrace. The objective was to demonstrate one’s ability to creatively use spare time.

Those that were more musically inclined gave balcony shows that made their neighbors enthusiastically applaud or collectively shudder. Others of us wrote down our thoughts and posted them on Internet as a way to record these moments for posterity, and also to preserve our sanity.

We thought that it would be fun to work from home. Confinement would also allow us to spend more time with our partner and even show teachers that we could teach our children just as well or better at home than they could in the classroom.

Two months ago, we were fearless warriors engaged in a life-or-death combat on our living room sofas. By doing nothing, we were doing something, and it did not even require a great deal of effort. It was a like using those machines that promise instant weight loss in exchange for only attaching a few electrodes to thighs and abdomen.

If confinement had only lasted a month, we could have made it. However, that did not happen.  Confinement dragged on and on until we finally had to look at our cell phone to remember which day it was. Time became an endless continuum that resembled the stream-of-consciousness writing in Virginia Woolf novels.

Our glorious home vacation turned into an enforced incarceration in a carnival Hall of Mirrors, where everything became distorted out of all recognition.

We discovered that being 24/7 with our partners was not all that it was cracked up to be. Confinement inexplicably transfigured our children into little monsters. Instead of a rewarding experience of self-fulfillment, working at home turned out to be twenty times more arduous and stressful than working at the office.

We gradually lost interest in creating culinary delights and began calling out for fast food delivery. Eventually, it even became a chore to go out on our balconies to clap for healthcare workers.

Finally, we realized that we had been deceived. This was not a race of 100 meters, but rather one of 10,000 meters. Instead of being sprinters like Usain Bolt, we were suddenly expected to be long-distance runners like Haile Gebrselassie.

It wasn’t fair. No one had told us that confinement would last until the end of June. If we had known, we might have had second thoughts about wasting so much bubbly energy and enthusiasm at the beginning of the race. Now our stamina had dwindled.

This state of affairs was reflected in the grocery line today. The people whom I usually talked to had begun to grumble. The topic of the morning was the possible arrival of a ‘second wave’ of Covid-19. After warning us for weeks that a second wave could inevitably crash on our shores, now the government was saying that a second wave might not happen at all.

Various opinions were expressed. The grocery social club was divided between those who believed the government’s optimistic predictions and those who thought that the government was lying.

This polarized division of opinion in our discussion group is nothing new. The people who believed the government were a retired cleaning lady and her caregiver daughter, who think that Pedro Sánchez walks on water because he is so handsome and wears aviator sunglasses as he surveys the country from the window of his private jet.

Those who did not believe him included a hotel receptionist, now living on unemployment checks, and a taxi driver wearing a mask embroidered with the Spanish flag, both of whom vote at the other end of the political spectrum.

However, this time there was a third group. There were three people who were simply sick of this whole mess and were not worried about a second wave. They argued that the country should open up, whatever happened. Let the chips fall where they may…. coronavirus be damned.

They said that we should forget about social distance and just carry on the same as before. The people that were vulnerable should simply stay at home, and if some of them happened to die, well…that was just their bad luck. They were collateral damage.

I was surprised. This was the first time that I had ever heard this opinion expressed in my neighborhood, and I found it troubling. Until now I had thought that this view only thrived across the ocean among certain sectors of the American public.

Nevertheless, there was still a difference. Here, this opinion seemed to have little relation with any deep-seated (possibly skewed) beliefs regarding personal freedom and independence. Unlike the protestors in America with Confederate flags and misspelled signs, these grocery-line people were simply exhausted. Covid-19 had suddenly appeared out of the sky, like a lightning bolt, and had shattered their lives. Not knowing how to deal with reality, they wanted to switch channels and tune in to another more agreeable reality.

They sincerely believed that we could just ignore Covid-19. If we continued on as before, the virus would simply go off in a huff and disappear. They thought that by lifting confinement, it would be possible to turn back the clock, and that their old lives would reappear…like magic.  Some people might die, but a few lives would be worth the price.

I asked them whether they had lost any family, friends, or acquaintances, if they knew anybody among the coronavirus dead. They said no. And then we all understood. Their Hall of Mirrors had no reflections of ghosts.

56 Zombies in Times of Coronavirus

The pandemic has been dragging on for too long. Even though Covid-19 is finally remitting, the government wants it to be completely over and done with. Indeed, it has become such an embarrassment that the Socialist Party is even in danger of losing some of its support. The coronavirus confinement is providing the opposition with a wealth of ammunition for their daily barrage of criticism.

If President Sanchez does not get the country back to normal soon, he will have more difficulty getting re-elected. Needless to say, he is not the only world leader with this problem.

Quite understandably, the government is in a great hurry to open Spain up, especially to international tourism. This would attenuate criticism and relieve some of the pressure. It has thus begun to offer shortcuts to speed up the de-escalation process. Provinces may soon be able to change phases after only one week instead of two.

Like the government, Spaniards also want life to return to what it was before confinement. Everyone is eager to drink and be merry, and to celebrate the fiestas that had to be cancelled in the spring because of the need for social distance.

If all goes well, September will be one long party. We might have the opportunity to run with the bulls, have water and tomato fights, offer flowers to the Virgin Mary, and celebrate gay pride, all in the space of one month.

This impatience to return to normalcy is fueled by the relatively smooth progression of Spanish provinces from one phase to another in the de-escalation ‘video game’, in which one only has to blast a sufficient number of viruses to get to the next level. There are now fewer restrictions everywhere.

After so much death, this sounds too good to be true. Even though government leaders (regardless of the ruling political party) have their own version of the truth, it is a fact that the hospitals have fewer coronavirus patients. The doctors in my son’s hospital have been told that they will be able to go on vacation this summer. My son will be off work during the month of July and will be able to see his children again.

For me, this news is more convincing than government reports, which must always be taken with a grain of salt. Despite my habitual pessimism, I am beginning to feel cautiously hopeful that the new normal will soon appear on the horizon.  Right now the magic date is the first of July.

I have been wondering why we are having such good luck now. For the last three months, all the news has been bad. Now, we are suddenly deluged with good news. It is almost too much to digest at one time. I have pondered on this conundrum and have come up with two possible explanations.

The first explanation comes from as far away as Texas. As you might recall, about two months ago, televangelist Rev. Kenneth Copeland decided to blow a double blast of hot air (something that he has a considerable supply of). At the beginning of April, he claimed to have exorcised Covid-19 by summoning "the wind of God" to destroy the virus.

Lamentably, his holy wind never reached New Orleans, where many died of the virus. This might have happened because of poor aim or perhaps because the holy wind was expelled from another orifice. However, southern Europe can now thank Rev. Copeland because his hot air finally ended up crossing the Atlantic and hitting the bullseye in Spain and Italy. This could be the reason why things are going so well in both countries.

The second possible explanation comes from Madrid. Quite recently, the Spanish government decided to improve statistics by bringing various people back to life. Accordingly, on 25 May, two thousand of those previous classified as ‘dead’ were declared to be ‘undead’. The newly created coronavirus zombies are now legion. Needless to say, this is an excellent way to make the numbers more favorable.

Until that moment, Spain’s deaths per million were over 600. Now they are 580, and vying with those of the United Kingdom and France. This is an excellent ploy to lure tourism back to Spanish shores. Other world leaders, such as President Trump in the USA or President Bolsonaro in Brazil, should perhaps take note of this technique.

Thanks to this admirable sleight-of-hand, on 25 May, Spain’s death toll was reduced from 28,752 deaths to 26,837 (in one fell swoop). However, on 26 May, after thinking about it, our government health experts decided that 2000 zombies was an excessive number. They then took 200 of those recently proclaimed ‘undead’ and killed them again.  If this sounds confusing to you, imagine the reaction of my neighbor, Mrs. Neanderthal.

Though duly recorded on Worldometer (www.worldometers.info/coronavirus/country/spain/), the site is still recovering from shock and had to think for two days before articulating a way to explain this surprising change in its graphs for Spain. Eminent epidemiologists here affirm that as a result of this, no one has the least idea of how the pandemic is going in Spain. Perhaps it is better not to know.

According to the official explanation, this sudden improvement occurred because the government decided to cancel out all deaths attributed to coronavirus, where there was no PCR diagnosis. Simply dying in an elderly care facility along with 20 other (untested) people who also died with symptoms of coronavirus was suddenly not sufficient evidence to be classified as a coronavirus death.

Sherlock Holmes would have deplored the government’s powers of deduction, but on the brighter side, it does make us look better and will doubtlessly lure tourists back.

The government has also significantly improved contagion statistics by only counting cases detected with PCR tests and by not counting those detected with serology tests. This creative counting method is further enhanced by the fact that the new statistics for Covid-19 recoveries do include the recoveries from cases detected with serology tests as well as PCR.

This statistical juggling act has created the illusion of a more positive scenario, which might even correspond to reality. Who knows? One can only applaud because now the de-escalation process can be streamlined, which hopefully will prevent further economic collapse.

Nevertheless, everyone is aware that the newly ‘undead’ people really died of coronavirus. The only reason that they were not tested was that no tests were available. The first shipments of tests from China were defective and had to be returned. But people kept dying anyway. Death does not wait for governments to get their act together.

There are people that would say that none of this really matters. They would say that “dead is dead”. I would say that there are two thousand zombies that now walk among us.

55 Divorce in Times of Coronavirus

In Spain, the coronavirus pandemic has not only impoverished the economy. It has also had a negative impact on relationships. Confinement has forced couples to live together for three months in strained conditions. 

Just like Luminol lights up blood spatter at crime scenes, confinement reveals glaring holes in personal relationships. Even under the best of circumstances, a relationship has to be very solid to be able to survive the strain of prolonged 24/7 companionship.

Although initially, it was thought that confinement in Spain would lead to a higher birth rate, just the opposite has occurred. Now that de-escalation has begun, the number of divorces has skyrocketed. This is not entirely unexpected since the same thing occurred in China. Now other countries throughout the world are having a similar experience. Love is undying as long as one is not forced to be with one’s beloved 24 hours a day over an extended period of time.

As lawyers are aware, there is always a spike in divorces after summer vacation. Cohabitation is not easy even under the best of circumstances. And these circumstances are among the worst.

Since Covid-19 confinement has lasted much longer and has been more intense, it has produced a higher number of casualties. To avoid the total collapse of the courts, the Spanish judicial system even plans to use the month of August to alleviate the demands for divorce,  arising from the tense climate in homes during and after forced isolation.

Next door in Portugal, even though the pandemic has been less severe, Covid-19 has also left a trail of failed relationships. The Portuguese government has even created a virtual platform so that divorces can be processed remotely. There is thus no need for judges to leave home or meet face to face with the couple. This will doubtlessly speed everything up.

Part of the reason for all of the emotional shipwrecks may lie in the idealistic vision of the ‘perfect relationship’ that pervades society. Research studies in Psychology have shown that the ‘pink cloud’ of passionate romance is fleeting and ephemeral. The pinkness lasts about one year, after which the pink cloud simply becomes another cloud.

If couples continue together after this honeymoon period, this means that the pink cloud has morphed into something else, usually a more solid type of love, where passion is mixed with tenderness, friendship, and respect, enriched with shared goals and interests. 

Translated into daily life, this means that long-term couples must gradually learn to put up with each other’s weird habits and quirks (yes, we all have them). They must like to share things, but at the same time, they must learn to respect each other’s personal space.

The love between Romeo and Juliet will always be everlasting because Juliet died before she ever lived with Romeo for an extended period of time. Consequently, she never nagged Romeo because he snored. He never criticized her because her side of the closet was a mess; and she never became angry with him because he did not play with the children while she had to telework on the computer.

In Spain, coronavirus breakups are more frequent among the younger set, but confinement has also strained long-term relationships, which were forged way back when there was no divorce. There have even been a few of these casualties in my apartment building.

Yesterday, I received a visit from Mrs. Perfect, who lives in an apartment on the floor above mine. I have known her for 40 years, and as her name implies, she is the essence of perfection. Unlike the rest of us, she and Mr. Perfect have never quarreled and have always unremittingly adored each other. They have never had periods of cold silence when they glared at each other over the breakfast table. 

Before he retired, Mr. Perfect had the perfect job, which allowed her to be the perfect housewife and devote her time to cooking perfect meals for her perfect family. 

Mr. Perfect is also reputedly endowed with the perfect penis that allowed her to have the perfect number of children (two): one boy and one girl. However, now because of the coronavirus, her perfect life has become less than perfect.

After three months of confinement, yesterday she confessed to me that she has suddenly discovered that Mr. Perfect is not as perfect as she had always believed him to be. Although this came as a surprise to her, it also reflected that she and her husband had never spent much time together as a couple. This had permitted them to ignore each other’s shortcomings.

Mr. and Mrs. Perfect married when divorce did not exist. In those days, couples stayed together for better or for worse. However, it was a foregone conclusion that the happy couple would not constantly be together.

Gender roles were perfectly defined. Men dwelled in a male world, mainly inhabited by other men, where they devoted their life to manly (usually outdoor) occupations. 

In contrast, the female world had a narrower scope, which encompassed the home, family, and the market place. Feminine occupations were reduced in number, and they were mostly things that could be done in the kitchen (cooking and cleaning) or sitting on the couch in the living room (sewing and knitting). Needless to say, Mr. Perfect lived in the male world; and Mrs. Perfect inhabited the female world. And until Times of Coronavirus, the twain had not met.

Before retirement, Mr. Perfect had worked on road construction projects and was away for long periods of time. When Mr. Perfect finally retired, he still continued to be away from home. During most of the day, he spent a significant part of his time walking around town and occasionally stopping at bars to have a ‘tapa’ or two, which meant that he returned home in a jovial mood.

When Covid-19 closed the bars, and no one could go outside except to buy groceries or medicine, the constant companionship of Mr. Perfect became difficult for Mrs. Perfect to handle. Since their children had grown up and moved away, their main topic of conversation had disappeared. During confinement, they suddenly found out that they had very little to say to each other. They discovered that they did not even like the same television programs.

Mr. Perfect suggested that she play dominos or cards with him. Mrs. Perfect suggested that he help her mop the floor and peel potatoes. However, this did not work because neither was disposed to enter the domain of the other. In old-style Spain, the traditional male world and the traditional female world had few shared occupations outside the bedroom.

But that was not the worst. In a gloomy whisper, Mrs. Perfect informed me that things had become so bad that now after 17 years, he even wanted them ‘to have sex’. She told me that she now let him go to bed without her. That way he could ‘figure things out for himself’. She would stay up watching television until she heard him begin to snore.

Despite these problems, it goes without saying that Mr. and Mrs. Perfect will never add to the divorce statistics. When confinement is lifted, Mr. Perfect will begin strolling around town again, and then, their post-coronavirus world will be perfect once more.

54 The Economy in Times of Coronavirus

In Spain, it is not a good time for the economy. When we were climbing toward the peak of the curve, the government had no choice but to prioritize health. That is what most countries finally decided to do. Those who did it early enough, like New Zealand, are now basking in glory. Those who opted for the opposite course of action, like Brazil, are now paying the price.

Spain waffled around before making any decisions. The government finally closed the whole country down only after the pandemic had spiraled out of control. This move undoubtedly saved lives, but it should have been done sooner. Now it is necessary to deal with the aftermath.

Fifty days or so of confinement brought all economic activity to a grinding halt. During that time, the evil coronavirus fairy waved her magic wand, and transformed Spain into an economic wasteland. Many jobs vanished: some temporarily, others probably forever. Those jobs that remained were transfigured.

In this brave new world, people had to suddenly figure out how to work from home, often in the midst of family chaos. Certain colleagues of mine had to buy a computer because they did not have one at home. Others had to buy a second (or third) computer because suddenly all family members had to have a computer to work or to study.

Nevertheless, these were the lucky few since only a relatively small percentage of workers were actually able to work from home. It is estimated that only 25.4% of jobs in Spain can be done online – a percentage that could perhaps rise to 43% when restrictions are scaled back to a minimum.  So, a lot of people are simply out of luck.

For this reason, there is now a great divide between the privileged few that have jobs that can be done remotely, such as those working in education, finance or computer science, and those who work in catering or retail with face-to-face contact. Many of these jobs may never return. Even if establishments reopen, the workforce will probably be downsized.

Most of the recently unemployed once worked in restaurants, bars, hotels, or stores. These establishments are now closed, and some might never open again. With all of the new measures imposed, no one knows whether it would be even worth it to re-open. It is a whole new ballgame. Owners are wondering whether a store, hotel, or restaurant operating at 50% of its capacity can make a profit.

In Granada, a lot of bars now have a sign hanging on the door that says “Mejor cerrado que arruinado” [Better closed than bankrupt]. This same sign is also hanging on the doors of other establishments throughout Spain.

I am among the privileged because I can work from home. My job will not disappear.  My children have also continued to work during confinement. Law enforcement, healthcare, and coroners are always needed, even more so in times of disaster. Even my son, the pilot in Texas, has not been laid off because he works for a cargo airline.  However, friends of his who work for passenger airlines have not been so lucky and are currently on furlough.

I have friends whose children have not been so fortunate. They have been laid off, sometimes without unemployment benefits. Even those who will be able to return to their jobs in De-escalation Phase 1 or 2 have nowhere to leave their children because daycare centers are still closed. (Perhaps in September, someone will find a way to explain social distance to toddlers.)  So, family safety nets have never been so necessary.  

Many other people are even worse off because they are struggling to cope with no income, no access to unemployment benefits … and/or no extended family to help them. They do not know what to do. At least during confinement, no eviction notices can be served. So they cannot be kicked out of their homes for not paying rent.

When the dust settles and the focus is no longer on death statistics, the government will have to get the economy ‘back on track’. The problem is that they really don’t have a clue about how to do this. The treasury has to be replenished, but to get the money, the government has to choose between two unpopular options: spending cuts or tax hikes.

Gloomy predictions for Spain’s economic future include a 9.2% reduction in national growth as well as a national debt that will come to 111.5% of the Gross Domestic Product (GDP). To remedy this problem, certain economists have suggested lowering pensions given that €2 out of every €5 collected in taxes are allocated to that particular budget item.

Even though thousands of pensions no longer need to be paid because government inaction allowed Covid-19 to carry off thousands of elderly retirees, the savings resulting from their deaths are not sufficient to solve the budget problem.

According to experts, the government may decide to increase taxes, cut social spending, and/or raise the retirement age to 67. It is a question of either dismantling part of the welfare state or increasing revenue by asking people to earn less and/or pay more.

For now, the government is stalling. On the news, our leaders tell us what we want to hear. A few days ago, the Finance Minister stated that there would not be any massive spending cuts or massive tax hikes. Possibly, she has devised a plan to rob the World Bank. No one knows.

The good news is that the economy will supposedly bounce back in 2021… if only we can keep the coronavirus away.